My husband came home looking all sad panda the other day.
“The doctor told me I have high cholesterol.”
Guess all those late night runs to the border for 4th meal caught up to you, eh?
“She told me to stop eating so much meat.”
You don’t say.
“And no more fast food.”
Well, how about that.
“Do we have any vegan cookbooks?”
Why, yes. Yes, we do.
“Do they have pictures.”
No. No, they don’t.
“If only there were some sort of vegan cookbook with pictures of how to make everything.”
Yes, Husband. Wouldn’t that be neat if there were some thoroughly documented vegan recipe log with pictures and step-by-step instructions?
Yes, that would be really neat.
DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME?!?!
Then husband said he would like to learn how to cook.
“Can you teach me how to cook something?”
Sure. What do you want to learn how to cook?
DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME?!?!?!
And how the hell do you not know how to make a sandwich?
I lost my cool there.
Yes, Husband. I can teach you to make a sandwich.
A man sandwich.
First, get into your bare feet and head to the kitchen.
First, wash that stank off your hands.
This is a basic hot sandwich recipe that can be customized to your
extremely finicky palate liking.
MUSHROOM STEAK SANDWICHES
16 oz. portobello mushroom caps
2 medium onions
2 tablespoons soy sauce
1 tablespoon canola oil
Heat oil in a large skillet over medium heat.
Slice the ends off of the onion and peel away the skin.
Cut in half length-wise.
Put cut side down and then slice into strips.
Add onions to skillet.
Add to the onions.
Add the soy sauce and any additional seasonings.
Seriously. Experiment with the spices.
This is how you learn to cook.
For this batch I added 1/2 teaspoon smoked paprika, 1/2 teaspoon pepper, and 1 teaspoon maple syrup. It had some heat!
Cook for 15-20 minutes or until peppers are cooked but still a little chewy and firm.
Serve on crusty bread with mixed greens or herbs.
Don’t worry Husband.
I know you dislike parsley trees in your food.
I will hand pick each piece of greenery off of your sammich.
Better eat fast.
You still have all those dishes to do!