I’m trying to convince my husband to let me be a stay-at-home wife, but he’s not having it.
The thing is, work is really starting to interfere with my recreational time.
In my fictional life, I spend all my time at home cooking delicious recipes and organizing my home.
In my real life, aint nobody got time for that.
Well, maybe I would have more time if I didn’t spend 7 hours of my Saturday burning caramel popcorn that I was trying to make for a Halloween party.
WHY IS CARAMEL SO HARD!?!?!
I barely had time to put on my Halloween costume.
Which is less of a costume and more of a fantasy.
It’s what I really want to be when I grow up.
Liberated women everywhere, be warned.
This will shock and terrify you.
A true Halloween horror to the feminist movement.
I want to be a 50’s housewife.
The whole “working outside of the home” thing was way overrated.
I don’t think women in the 70’s considered the consequences of their actions.
In what universe did it seem like a bad idea to let someone else go to work everyday and bring home money for you?
So anyway, as the bewitching hour neared on Saturday, managing my time got a little tricky,
I had no time to cook up a Halloween treat.
And I burned the shit out of 7 batches of caramel.
I didn’t have any more time to burn.
So I mixed up a no-cook honey caramel concoction.
And added bourbon.
Because bourbon is timeless.
NO-COOK BOURBON HONEY CARAMEL SAUCE
1 cup honey
2 tablespoon non-dairy butter
1 teaspoon bourbon
1/2 teaspoon molasses
Combine all ingredients in a bowl and stir to combine.
Collect award for best costume.
Even though I look like a scary mess in this photo.