Total Recall

On October 13, 2012, there was a threat to our national security.

There was word of terroristic action in my area.

I knew none of this as a glided around on my bicycle, taking in the crisp autumn chill while oranges, yellows, and reds took over the local foliage.

I heard two quick shots.

I assumed it was an early morning skeet shooting session since I was nearing a recreational camp, but I was wrong.

So very wrong.

As I approached the scene, I had in fact come across an assassination.

A terrorist had been shot and killed a mere 100 yards away from me.

The terrorist in question?

*This is not the actual deer from the “special operation.” I don’t make a habit of carrying my camera on what is supposed to be a relaxing morning bike ride.

A Deer.

That’s right.

Bambi’s cousin bombarded the flight line.

The swift action of the area’s finest had the whole scene cleaned up before I finished my water break.

To think, if I wasn’t riding as slow as molasses, I could have been the recipient of a ricocheting bullet.

Good thing I was wearing my helmet.

You know what else I consider a threat to national security?

This never-ending peanut butter recall.

It’s ok though.

Because like a young airman fresh out of bootcamp, I am ready for battle.

You’d have to be nuts to mess with me and my food processor.

If you have a good food processor, you can have homemade nut butter in about 10 minutes.

The advantage of making your own nut butter is that you control the ingredients.

Less sugar.

Less salt.

Less salmonella.

My favorite nut is easily the cashew.

I like cashews better than peanuts and I’ve all but forgotten about almonds.

Cashew butter is the new black-ops.

Cashews and maple syrup make a rich, smooth nut butter that beats anything you can buy at the store.


2 cups roasted cashews

2 tablespoons maple syrup

Add cashews to food processor and process until smoooth.

Tidbit: I added the maple syrup for fun. You do not need to add anything to this cashew butter if you are using salted nuts. Not even oil. Nothing. If using raw nuts, feel free to toast them and be sure to salt to taste.

Add maple syrup and continue processing until desired texture.

Lick the spatula.

And the bowl.

And the blade.

It’s ok.

You’ve received extensive training in handling your weapon.

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*Note: No one was harmed, near harm, or in harm’s way in relation to this post. The word “terrorist” is used purely for humorous purposes and not intended to imply actual terrorism in the traditional sense. 


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