Remember that song “Blue” by LeAnn Rimes?
With a spoon.
I just wanted her to shut up and get over whatever she was so lonesome about.
And what about Eifel 65’s song “Blue?”
Did you sort of want to take a jackhammer to your car radio when that came on?
I totally loved that song.
And who the hell keeps a jackhammer in their car?
You have issues.
I have issues too.
With blue food.
It freaks me out.
Blue Raspberry Lemonade?
I don’t even like blue M & M’s.
I think it’s because blue food is just so un-natural looking.
Unless of course you’re talking about blueberries.
Blueberries are my all-time favorite summer fruit.
They’re like God’s apology for making me listen to crappy pop music that taints all things blue-tiful.
Which is why I go all Violet Beauregarde every July and August.
Unlike Ms. Rimes and Ms. Beauregarde, I don’t like to massacre blue things.
I prefer my berries whole in oatmeal, with soy milk, or by the greedy handful in the middle of an orchard.
I also make sure I buy every last pint before they go out of season locally.
It was a bit more than I could fit in my belly.
It’s three ingredient and keeps for weeks in the fridge or up to a year in the freezer.
4 cups fresh blueberries, rinsed
1/4 cup of agave nectar
1/2 lemon, juiced
Add blueberries, agave, and lemon juice to a medium sized saucepan over medium heat.
Cook until berries begin to break down and sauce begins to bubble.
Remove from heat and cool.
Pour into freezer safe apparatus.
Serve over yogurt if that’s your thing.
Or eat it by the spoonful.
Preferably not the one you used to scoop your eyeballs out.
You have issues.
issues news, here’s some things I’m grateful for this week:
1. That LeAnn Rime’s music sucks significantly less since 1996.
2. The blue Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.
3. That you still read this blog despite intermittent cussing and questionable humor.