I Got the Blues

Remember that song “Blue” by LeAnn Rimes?

OhmyGodthatsongmademewanttoclawmyeyesout.

With a spoon.

I just wanted her to shut up and get over whatever she was so lonesome about.

And what about Eifel 65’s song “Blue?”

Remember that?

Did you sort of want to take a jackhammer to your car radio when that came on?

No?

Me neither.

I totally loved that song.

And who the hell keeps a jackhammer in their car?

You have issues.

I have issues too.

With blue food.

It freaks me out.

Blue Raspberry Lemonade?

Blue Ketchup?

I don’t even like blue M & M’s.

Cocky bastard

I think it’s because blue food is just so un-natural looking.

Unless of course you’re talking about blueberries.

Blueberries are my all-time favorite summer fruit.

They’re like God’s apology for making me listen to crappy pop music that taints all things blue-tiful.

Which is why I go all Violet Beauregarde every July and August.

Unlike Ms. Rimes and Ms. Beauregarde, I don’t like to massacre blue things.

I prefer my berries whole in oatmeal, with soy milk, or by the greedy handful in the middle of an orchard.

I also make sure I buy every last pint before they go out of season locally.

It was a bit more than I could fit in my belly.

The solution?

Make sauce.

Blueberry Sauce.

It’s three ingredient and keeps for weeks in the fridge or up to a year in the freezer.

BLUEBERRY SAUCE

4 cups fresh blueberries, rinsed

1/4 cup of agave nectar

1/2 lemon, juiced

Add blueberries, agave, and lemon juice to a medium sized saucepan over medium heat.

Cook until berries begin to break down and sauce begins to bubble.

Remove from heat and cool.

Pour into freezer safe apparatus.

Serve over yogurt if that’s your thing.

Non-dairy if you’re veggin’.

Or eat it by the spoonful.

Preferably not the one you used to scoop your eyeballs out.

Seriously.

You have issues.

In other issues news, here’s some things I’m grateful for this week:

1. That LeAnn Rime’s music sucks significantly less since 1996.

2. The blue Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.

3. That you still read this blog despite intermittent cussing and questionable humor.

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2 thoughts on “I Got the Blues

  1. Pingback: The Ultimate Collection of 3 Ingredient Recipes - A Mother Thing

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