Making the Grade

I love America.

Whenever you get bored with something, you can just upgrade it.

And it makes you feel special.

Like you’re better than everyone else because you got the latest technology.

Those poor souls with the regular version don’t even know what they’re missing.

There’s always something newer, faster, better.

Your running shoes are last year’s colors?


Your cell phone is two months old?


Your car has 11,000 miles on it?


Apple came out with the IPAD 17?


Your cable service offers multiple room DVR even though you only need it for one room?


Your husband put the toilet paper roll on backwards?


We tend to get bored with things pretty quickly, but at the same time, we don’t want anything completely different.

No, that would be too much change.

Change is the devil.

We just want a better version of the original.

I’m bored with the BLT.

Especially since I don’t eat the B.

And the L could use a little upgrading.

Enter the brand spankin’ new, hot off the shelves, latest and greatest advancement to the archaic BLT.

Introducing the








Oh, wait, let me elaborate.

Introducing the


version 2.0 

First of all, let’s get all of our preconceived notions about lima beans out of the way.

Lima beans are awesome.

That is all.


1 1/2 cups frozen lima beans

3 cloves of garlic

1/2 lemon, juiced

1 teaspoon olive oil

1/4 teaspoon black pepper

1/8-1/4 teaspoon salt, or to taste

1 bunch basil

2 large tomatoes

Prepare lima beans according to package directions.

The package should say something like boil for 3 minutes, cover and simmer for 20 minutes. Don’t act like this is a huge deal. You can prep your other ingredients while these are cooking. Don’t forget to strain them before use!

Add lima beans, garlic, lemon juice, olive oil, salt and pepper to blender or food processor.

Process until smooth.

Have you ever noticed how many of my recipes call for “processing until smooth?” I really, really like creamy food. That’s why lima beans are so awesome. They’re like buttah.

Transfer to a small bowl for purely aesthetic purposes.

Cut tomatoes into 3 or 4 thick slices.

Sprinkle with salt and pepper.

Add basil.

Then add a scoop of lima bean spread.

Top with another tomato slice.

Laugh at all your friends and relatives who still eat old fashioned BLT’s.

Even if you have to do it on FaceTime with your new IPAD 17.

In your neon yellow running shoes.

While you DVR the entire Lifetime channel from three rooms.

Which you’ll watch with your new husband.

These jokes are getting old.


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